The content of this post appeared in Icelandic undir the title “Facebook notkun unglinga” in March 2012 and focused solely on Facebook. It is now rewritten in (a broken) English with broader focus, looking at social media sites in general.
The Ministry of Education, Science and Culture through “Æskulýðssjóður” has given YMCA/YWCA in Iceland a small grant to create curriculum for youth directors, parents and children about Social Media use. The original post in Iceland is being used as an introduction to that curriculum.
In March 2012 I sat down with my 13 year old daughter to talk about rules and behavior on Social Media sites, and Facebook in particular. After the conversation we ended up with 15 rules that are important to have in mind. Of course this list is in no way unique from other lists of similar kind. The value is first and foremost in the fact that it is created in collaboration between a parent and a child.*1
One of the reasons for the original posting was that rules of this kind were not easily available on the web in Icelandic.
It is important to take notice that this is in no way the final list or the right list of rules. I would like to repeat that the value is not first and foremost in a list of do’s and don’ts, but in the collaboration and conversation between a parent/parents and a child/children about the world out there and how we deal with it.
Social Media Agreement for Teenagers and Parents
- Your parents are your friends on Social Media sites.
- Only accept “friends” you know in real life and be sure they are who they say they are.
- You don’t have to accept friend requests from anyone, not even relatives (except parents of course).
- You can only belong to groups or networks, in which you are part of in the real world.
- You cannot “friend” your teachers, coaches, trainers, and/or youth leaders,*2 but you can be part of groups/networks they create around projects/events/groups you belong to and/or participates in.
- Access to your personal wall/site/area has to be closed to all other than your friends. Privacy settings, for example in Facebook, must be either “Only Friends” or “Only Me”. In case of photos they must only be accessible to friends (not Friends of Friends).
- All information about e-mail, websites, phone numbers, etc. must be hidden from all.
- Only publish pictures of your self, that you can allow everyone in the world to see.
- Only publish pictures of others, that you would have published of you.
- When publishing on social media sites, publish only things that everyone in the world is allowed to see.
- Only chat with people you know in real world. Keep in mind that chat and messages are always saved somewhere and can easily be copied and distributed.
- Never follow ads on social media sites.
- Your parents have to have access to all your social media sites.
- Your parents have to promise to never use your social media access to do anything but to follow your use of the site. If they use the access to monitor others or write something in your name they have broken this agreement.
- By using social media sites you understand and accept that if you misuse any social media sites, your parents have the power and obligation to close your account.
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*1 – My daughter recently said that she felt she hadn’t to much to say about the rules, well… When dad says something that sound reasonable it can be hard to disagree. 🙂
*2 – For some youth leaders it can be difficult to add youth unto their Facebook groups without “friending” them. In case that happens, and it has, we have allowed your daughter to “friend” them after conversations. The pastor in the congregation we attend is a friend to my daughter. When I asked her about it, she correctly pointed out that there was no mention of pastors in the rules.